Responses

CONTRIBUTIONS IN RESPONSE

I am digging a hole in the dirt, in the corner of a city that smells like piss. Earlier, when I was walking, I saw a sign that seemed to direct me to this exact spot. And now, I am enacting my future like a good, faithful creature that gets their hands dirty without thinking, for example, about the dirt stuck underneath my delicate fingernails. Each time I touch something in the dirt, I feel a surge of indescribable excitement going through my fingernails, up to the back of my neck, and then down to the last bone of my spine. I am not trying to dig a hole. I am giving myself completely to the devotion of a downfall. I am somewhere between a womb and a grave.

Suddenly there is water. I watch the water come from beneath and fall deeply into its mystery. In this water I sink without fear. Swaying my arms and feet gently, I descend. Around me, countless bodies are spinning, sinking gently towards the bottom. In the deep, a sound arrives before I am ready to hear it, it travels faster, it reaches further. My submerged ear cannot tell the direction from which the sound is heard. I am trying to find my way by tailing a body ahead of mine. Later, I won’t remember the five meters of silent water between us. Later, we will arrive, as if by magic.

When the call is heard again, I answer “Here I am. I am digging my way towards you.” And I continue to fall into the deep dark hole until finally, I find the thing. It is soft, like a thin slice of meat. I dust it and flip it around in my hand, trying to understand it, and I realize that it is an ear. Yes, the ear of an animal is in my hand with a fresh cut at the point from which it used to be attached to the body. I feel the tips of my fingers getting warmer from the fresh blood of the poor animal. And again I hear the call for the third time. It asks me to get up and keep walking. No, I do not leave the ear behind! It called me, and I listened in a way I had never listened before because the call had been ushered from outside me and inside me at the same time, so I am not sure if I was serving the ear or if the ear is serving me. ​​

I continue to walk the streets of the city as if my feet would now show me what to do next. It was not my feet, but my neck. At a certain moment, as I pass by a reflective glass front, my neck turns to face it. Sometimes the neck turns to face reflective surfaces out of vanity to check if my hair looks good or if my lipstick is still there after I eat a slice of cake. This time it turned for another reason entirely, or perhaps it was the same. I see my reflection in the glass mirror and the animal’s ear in my hand, and I realize the ear is mine. “I should want to wear it!” I think. I bring it close to my face as if wanting to try on an earring. “Yes, the ear is certainly mine!” I think. And I am, in fact, a part of this body. I am but a part of one massive piece of flesh shared with the infinite, the wild and the wonderful. Yes, in fact! I am its spitting image!

Inviting friends and visitors of Rhyzome to contribute and share material created in response to Rhyzome.

MIRIAM GATT

A CALL FROM WITHIN